So I have a lot of feelings about how Chris Brown is a shithead who shouldn’t have performed at the Grammy Awards, and how I was furious and in the dumps about how the media and prominent figures were so fucking lenient on him and so incredibly, inappropriately critical of Rihanna. And it’s absolutely infuriating that it continues this far out from that whole incident.

But I so don’t agree with reminding people of that fact by spreading around the police report of exactly what he did to Rihanna. (Which is happening, with all the violent bits bolded, and it has this many notes as of ten seconds ago: .)

Because, a) that’s a piece of literature that’s triggering as fuck, and b) Rihanna has been pretty clearly not-okay with spreading around pictures and personal stuff about that particularly wretched moment she experienced.

And it’s kind of indicative of a lot of things, how on the one hand we have a bunch of people apologizing for a total asshole of a human being, and on the other hand, we have people trying to raise vitriol against him by going against the victim’s wishes and holding her and her very private, traumatizing moment up for everyone to oogle at and tut over. And not much in between.

Like, can’t we just say, yeah, this is how we should behave, and behave that way, and…not bring super intense, personal shit into the public conversation against the wishes of the person we’re claiming to stand for?

‘Cause it’s not Rihanna’s duty to be a case study or a figurehead, just because a thing happened to her that she didn’t want to happen. It’s not anyone’s duty to do that. And whether or not the intent of that post is to make her do that, it’s doin’ it. Continuing to publish those incredibly incendiary details reinforces this ‘Rihanna is a Victim with a capital V’ mindset, and that forces a narrative and definition on her that she clearly doesn’t want. And it sucks, because that definitely puts her in a certain place in people’s minds, a very dejected place, which blows, because the main place Chris Brown is at in the public’s mind is ‘come back story!’. 

And also, again, holy fucking shit, triggering as all hell and Jesus Christ.