steps to having a terrible evening:

  • receive phone call asking why you aren’t at a shift you were told you didn’t have to work that is almost 90 minutes away
  • have panic attack
  • in front of someone else
  • hyperventilate as much as possible
  • call work back and tell them you can’t make it knowing that this is going to make their evening Super Terrible
  • cry while doing it
  • go back to making dinner
  • immediately set a short-lived but decent-sized grease fire
  • stare at the two-foot tall flames and scream bloody murder
  • freak out your mother
  • collapse in tears
  • dissociate

~~*anxiety lifestyle*~~

Was about to go to bed when I heard a chicken straight up SCREAM out in the yard, and ran outside to chase off a gray creature of undeterminable origin. All but one chicken were scattered off of their perch, one close enough to the fence and with whacked out feathers such that I think the thing had snagged at her through the fence? Options:

  1. Raccoon - likely culprit, small creeper hands could lull unsuspecting cluckers into a false sense of security that they might be a weird little human with foods for chickens.
  2. Possum - possible, also could use their occult hell critter powers to lower otherwise skittish chickens’ defenses.
  3. The weirdest fuckin’ cat in the world. No discernible reason why the chickens might approach the fence, but we cannot rule out the possibility that this particular chicken has a hero complex.

And I might now having trouble committing to sleeping. I can’t rest. I am the hero the chickens need right now. I am the night. I am the wet, frazzled night.

You guys, My Good Friend Corbin writes a bizarre and strangely-accessible-even-if-you-don’t-watch-basketball basketball blog on the internet, called Biscutball. Among my favorite articles:

These are probably the most accessible if you don’t regularly watch a bunch of fine sportsmen plying their trade on the hardwood, but enjoy watching someone else be good at writing about things they’re passionate about. There is also, buried in the blog somewhere, a discussion of the possibility of beach basketball that’s pretty diverting.

THE LONG AND SHORT OF IT: he’s made a Biscutball podcast, it’s a fun podcast, a fair chunk of it requires a little more knowledge of basketball than I have, but I think at the very least, the opening monologue is as accessible as the above articles. 

And I made the opening theme for it, which was - at Corbin’s request - jaunty, Biscutball-themed, and in French. 

On the off-chance any of you are interested in any of these topics, I thought I’d let you all know.